The Boldness Factor

Ya know, more than once someone suggested the whole thing is a boldness game.  I'm not sure that I could get any more bold than I already have.  I've got the whole thing narrowed down to a small group of possibilities and there are a few things I'm sure of, but, again, since I "have no outside frame of reference," I can't really pin down things definitively and therefore have to cast blame on my best guesses.  So it goes.  If you don't like what I'm doing, maybe you should address me directly and openly like a human being.  I resent this game and I didn't ask to be part of it.  I mean, since I'm a child and everything...no, sorry--I'm a baby.  Yeah, that's it.  Since I'm a baby, I don't understand the rain of hints.  I don't just need it spelled out.  I need it spoon-fed.  Is it because I took a security job at an abandoned steel mill and, like ol' Paul Kudary said after he opened the mic on his walki-talkie so you could listen to or record the conversation, "You know, this is a Homeland Security job, right?"  Or, no, wait...it's not just that.  It must have to do with Wayne or his sidekick saying something like, "We'll train you our way."  Thus ensued the flood of traumatic input, including Wayne's theatrical presentation about keeping all that blood off your hands at the scene of an accident.  It's all that stuff, right?  And, of course, that little bald sidekick of his also said, "You have to prove you're worthy."  I didn't know what he was talking about and was afraid to say, "You mean to guard this empty plant?!, for fear of him thinking I didn't take it seriously.  Or is that my psychotic radical feminist white male-bashing bio-mother signed me up for it as she hinted at.  I'm concerned about her motives and I have every right to be, by the way.  Or did she just catch wind of it?  Oh, it's all so confusing.  She also dropped a hint about a Catch-22.

Ya know what else?  It's not so much that I'm against the job, whatever it might be.  I just don't like the way I've been handled.  Really--I'm a very reasonable guy.  Easy going, even.  Maybe too much so.  Either way, I'll keep on being "bold" until somebody speaks the fuck up.  As always, I'm sitting right out in broad daylight.

Did I mention I also had a brush with the Landmark Forum, an offshoot of Scientology--through the Reverend, no less?  He actually promoted it in his sermons.  I'm not kidding.


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