In a recent post, I mentioned the following encounters I had with people:
1. A woman came into an otherwise empty deli, sat immediately next to me and had a conspicuously loud conversation on her phone that included the comment, "And I'm always nervous."
2. A woman passed me on the sidewalk one night while having--you guessed it--a conversation on her cell phone and said very loudly precisely as she passed me, "And my blood pressure goes up."
3. One afternoon at Cup-A-Joe, a couple children entered, gave me a purposeful glance, and sat at the table next to mine before the female child, sitting immediately to my right, gave a loud, theatrical, detailed description of an oncoming heart attack.
I've been seeing this ad quite a bit lately:
These screen-shots, by the way, remind of a conversation I had with a buddy about Ohio State's upset of Miami for the 2002 National Championship in football. We were talking about how incredible Ohio State's defense was that year. He mentioned that at some point in the second quarter, I believe, Miami started gaining some yards on a certain running play up the middle. Finally, Mike Doss stepped up and destroyed it at the line of scrimmage. The mighty Canes didn't run the play again.
I think I may have referred to this previously. When I was still wrapped real tight in the mind-control and afraid to do anything about, this guy used to show up at just the right time to sit next to me while waiting for a computer at the library. I guess maybe something I posted last night got his attention. Probably the part about not giving a shit what anyone thinks of my behavior which I am perfectly capable of dictating.
I know, it's a lot to take in. But don't you feel better? Another class-mate of mine mentioned the other day that immersion is a good learning method. She also made the very loud comment to someone, acting like she was joking, "You're an experiment." Really, Barbara Anne Wolf?
Well, again--I know today was really intense. Learning can be difficult; painful, even. Believe it or not, though, it's possible I'm not done with ya.
I met someone named Nicolosi, recently. It's really interesting because there were various points throughout my experience over the past few years when it occured to me that they might actually be trying to turn me gay. It's not a stretch at all to think that such a group of psychotic self-important psychologists--mostly women--might think to simply do the reciprocal of the methods Nicolosi came up with, with the purpose of turning someone from straight to gay rather than the other way around.
And that my friends, is the biggest fucking pipe dream of all the things that have been part of my experience.
I forgot something at the end of the new GSC page, btw:
I don't give a fuck what anyone think of my behavior.
Here's a very interesting film done by a classmate in a course I recently enrolled in, Miyako Abe:
Heavy
stuff, isn't it? Quite sensual, too. If one was vulnerable to
suggestion, completely deprived of human interaction, and found the the
actress attractive, they might be likely to internalize it and have
difficulty sleeping. I'm sure glad those three things don't apply to
me.
And one last thought: how do you suppose she came up with the title?
Something that has happened more times than I care to recall that sounds the craziest out of all of it, is that these covert operatives will be in place before I sit down next to them when I go somewhere that was a last second decision. You don't understand how disturbing this is. I ran into a couple ladies who acted real nice last night, may have said something about "Welcome to S.F." before dropping a hint alluding to my recent past and trying to drop political influential comments on me and hitting me with probing psychological questions. They're obviously not smart enough, despite all their degrees, to figure out that I stopped answering the probing psychological questions a long time ago.
Another thing they like to do is insinuate that I'm evil. A trailer for a movie called "The Devil Inside" has positively no sensible place in a list of Galaxie 500 songs.
It's no one thing that's that bad. "Rain" is a great metaphor. One drop is nothing, but a downpour will get you soaking wet. They rain this shit on you--as much as they possibly can.
As I mentioned, they've also suggested several times that I'm in training and over the past 3 to 6 months there have been several suggestions of "graduating.", one coming directly from an op who calls herself Andrea Breaux and started showing up at the gym mornings, apparently just to chat with the smoothie bar attendant right around the time I was there. Drop her a note at meanqueen1972@gmail.com
Ok...great...I've graduated. Now please leave me the fuck alone.
I believe I mentioned something recently about "internalization." It's one of many examples of the psychological terminology of mind control that I wasn't aware of and picked up in bits and pieces along the way. Knowing the correct words makes a huge difference in regard to breaking the mind-control as I have, and "internalization" was the last big one that really destroyed it.
I pegged her right off the bat. As long as I'm being baited by covert operatives I will fail such "tests" intentionally. Keep right on tryin'. I'll continue to pursue solutions and I will be free of this harassment.
Well, since I posted a few irrefutable screen-shots, they've taken a less severe approach that's just not so obvious. It's no big deal to see Ween mixed in with Luna, right?....
Harmless, right? Think about it. Pretend it was your name.
So, I've been playing a little battleship on-line on my Blackberry. It's fun. Slightly boring, challenge-wise, but still fun.
Anyhoo...I've noticed some odd coincidences among some of my opponents. Oddly, there's one fella whose screen-name is "JzMe." Hey!--J.Z. just happens to be my initials. Go figure. What a coincidence! JzMe won't engage in chat, but he waits to make his move until the very last second every time. No big deal, right? Well, right after I get done playing with him, a guy came on named "Jon." Hey!--that's my name missing a letter. Go figure! What a coincidence! I think we may have played one game before he bailed. I know, I know--I know what you're thinkin': "John, you're completely fucking insane, buddy. Get some help!!" Just stay with me, ok? Then a guy showed up to play me with the screen name--get this-- "The Man."
Oooooooooooooooo. I'm shakin' in my shoes, now.
The point is, none of the specific things they do are harmful. They just let you know they're there. It's stalking. That's exactly how they fuck with ya. But who's they? Well...for those still with me, I save the best for last, here. There's another fella who I've played quite bit. This guy shows up every night and he struck up a chat with me from the get-go. He asked where I was from. No biggie, right? I told him I live in S.F. and he responded by saying that indicates I must be gay. Actually, he called me a "fag."
Timeout! for a basic law of physics: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
I responded by asking whether or not he graduated from high school. For some reason, he also called me a Jew-hater. When I asked him about it, he denied it. I'll remind you here that what these people do is smear your name to turn as many people against you as they can. I've suspected all along that they're putting words in my mouth that never came out of it.
Another thing I should mention here is the false flag aspect of all this. I've mentioned before that I'm constantly being set up. This guy's screen-name is what appears to be an actual person's real name. I googled it and according to my research, dude's from New Jersey and his father is a contributor to the Republican party. But...it makes no sense whatsoever for such an operative harassing me on-line to use his real name, so I'll withhold that name here. I'm getting played badly by both sides or whoever, so I don't know for sure who he is. Again, I could just be getting set up to "investigate" him as much as I can on-line. And, for that matter, it's possible that a lot of what's going on right now is a charade. I did find something interesting during that research, though. The logo of this website is troubling:
Anyway...I knew these guys were all trying to fuck with my head, and since I've broken the mind-control I've been able to fight back, so I rained insults on them in return like I've been absorbing steadily for years on end.
Here's another great example of what they do: On my way to breakfast this morning, a very conservatively dressed and quaffed fella in a darkish red sweater crossed the street at exactly the right time with a kind of intimidating look on his face and walked immediately next to me until I peeled off. You guys are going to have to think up something new if you're really trying to scare me.
For the record: I do not pick my friends and associates according to religious, or ethnic background. After waiting in line to purchase tickets for a Jimmy Page & Robert Plant Concert at Madison Square Garden* to ensure getting the best seats I could, I invited an Irish Catholic friend whose has a very close friend and associate who's a Jew, and my best friend from Fox News Channel where I was working at the time, who is--you guessed it--a Jew. Gnaw on all that for a minute. I thought nothing of it and neither did they. I will return to such a circle or die trying. I am sick of having to constantly defend and explain myself. My politics are simple. I am against the extreme far-right who have gone out of their way to secretly make my life miserable for 20+ years. I see no reason to hide this because I'm compelled to believe they are the ones making up all these lies--still.
Oh and by the way, there was one more note-worthy opponent in my recent battleship series. I think "NDIrishFan" was the last guy I played last night. It all fit together so nicely: I thought to myself, "If there's any place in the U.S. young gay men might be attracted to, wouldn't it be Notre Dame?
And regarding the battleship games? I spanked 'em alllllllllllllll.
*The best concert I've ever been to. The stage was opposite of the '95 tour in that it was completely bare-bones. You could see the people behind the stage nearly to the bottom row. The only visual aids where bright spotlights spread randomly around that stage pointed directly at the crowd that would all be the same color at the same time, changing colors from song to song. Otherwise, just a row of white Fender amps kickin' your ass and blowin' you mind.
My body language will get better when I'm living a normal, comfortable life free of covert manipulation and harassment.
By the way, a major way these wackos send me messages is through the book covers. A great example: I got the elevator one day and a woman who was clearly a radical feminist ran in after me. It was only the 2 of us there, but she stood right next to me and very conspicuously opened and closed the paperback she was holding twice in rapid succession as she held it with both hands, face up at about waste-level--an odd way to carry a book, no? And why open and close it twice rapidly? Answer: to get my attention. The title was "Presumed Dead." It's the same as the "If You Died Tomorrow" Yahoo ad. These fuckheads try to communicate to me that way all the time, relying on the constant openness to suggestion, which I've broken. Often I'll be the only one zynga sitting at a library table with 8 seats and they'll sit directly across from me with a book about some sort of personality disorder or one of the long list of faults that have been fabricated and suggested about me. They do it all the time. It's a joke just like they are. I see these things. Okay? I see. They don't effect me just like the other suggestions no longer effect me. It's actually been quite a while since I broke that part of it Stop wasting your time.
Let's see if I've got the order right. A lot of it happens simultaneously, so the order is more in terms of base importance. It all works simultaneously, though, and it's much, much less effective without isolation. In fact, it doesn't really work at all as long as the person has normal human relationships.
Let's see if Johnny can figure this owt......
Isolation
Cognitive Dissonance
Constant Confusion
Fear (death threats, mainly)
Guilt (suggestions of various forms of character defamation)
Destruction of Self-Esteem
Destruction of Individuality
Extreme Emotional Manipulation
Constant curiosity
Internalization of everything perpetuates confusion, etc.
Induced obsessiveness, mania, and paranoia (how they make this happen is the really tripped out part)
Induced Fear of being social, which further perpetuates isolation. (I've already explained this once.)
How am I doin' so far? This is good because it's exactly what I need to be working on right now...
Ummmmmm....what's next?......Let's see.......
Desctruction of self-esteem caused by constant disagreement, insults, and systematic denial of any sort of victory which in turn will plant
Self-doubt which in turn will, by virtue of greatly damaged self-worth, make the person
Open to suggestion which is all hypnotism is--a state of being highly open to suggestion
Then, once the person's open to suggestion, you keep hammering them with insults, threats, and insinuations of guilt which will
Force the dopamine levels to remain very, very low. It's all self-perpetuating.
Ok...Ok...I see how to do this....list out the big topics as on top as kind of a table of contents then re-name them while explaining how it's done like so
Cognitive Disonance
Making statements that conflict with established truths known to both parties.
Destruction of Individuality
Mimicking simple physical actions and motions--you don't understand how fucked up this is unless you've been subject to it. My brother-in-law told my brother about it and he mimicked a couple motions I made and then looked at my brother-in-law with a look of amazement because he saw how it was fucking with my head. My brother-in-law replied that he didn't know how it works, it just does.
Well, Rick, the reason it works it by being a key part of another main aspect of all this which is destroying the subject's individuality which in turn is a key part of destruction of self-esteem.
How's Johnny doin' so far? That's just off the top of my head with minimal editing.
I'm going to have to make some kind of chart for this...definitely.
I mentioned previously that what these covert political and other operatives do is manufacture opportunities to drop hints. Often, they'll say during a conversation, "Oh, yes, that reminds me...", but the comment they make is only distantly related or completely unrelated to my last comment. Recently I ran into one who just happened to be at a function I was attending who has a background in "adult education" and interjected a completely unrelated comment about "internalizing problems."
That's what they're doing to me. They've manufactured all these things, whoever it is, CIA, I'm not really sure, so that basically, I have to pursue justice with no help whatsoever and all they while they're "training" me and at the same time having me do investigative work and maybe figuring out a few things they haven't--all without my consent or even my knowledge. Yes--I'm forced into this horrific experience and all the while I'm trying to rectify it, I'm actually doing work for them. That's what's happening.
My life has been hijacked and I'm being used and abused. My goal is to attain a certain level of freedom I am being systematically denied as a part of politically-motivated persecution. You haven't helped me grow or made me strong as has been suggested so many times. I see the game. I didn't sign up for this shit. I'm not one of you. I'll never work "that job" (actually, they've already gotten a lot of work out of me) and you won't get what you want in the end. No one will be spared.
